From "Overheard at BYU"

"but he's God, so he trumps President Kimball."

More from your friendly neighborhood amateur grammar nazi

Milk.

Say it right.

It's not Melk. It's also not Malk, or Molk.

Demonstration below.

Apparently lots of people don't know this...

Learn how to use affect and effect!!!
maybe this will help...
http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/affect-versus-effect.aspx
and maybe it won't.

But when you see "the affects were far-reaching" or "it's effecting me terribly" in a newspaper article... it's time to lay off some reporters.

Oh, and this

is awesome.

This is pretty funny...

Venting

This is an update from Lydia's less good-looking better half. I've got a bone to chew, a long row to hoe, a cage to rattle, a wound to rub salt in, a toe to step on...and I'm cooking with gas now.

Ok, you get the point.

Here's the situation. I work in a graduate program. When a person, let's call her Molly, wants to join the program, she needs to provide our department with certain credentials. Among these credentials are letters of recommendations, an ecclesiastical endorsement, a resume, and university transcripts proving that Molly has received a bachelor's degree.

So Molly sets about gathering these materials. She talks to her bishop about the endorsement, she calls a professor and some employers about letters, and she phones her undergraduate university and requests transcripts be sent to BYU.

BYU has this wonderful organization called Graduate Studies who is in charge of collecting and certifying all this data. They also publish the catalogs and have a nice little "pat-on-the-back" dinner for graduate students. While the people who work there work hard, they stay busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger and accomplish just as much. It would make a lot more sense to have each department collect these materials than have them go to some third party. But this is digression.

Well, Molly sends her transcripts and Grad Studies is supposed to send my department a hard copy. Despite their best efforts, occasionally they forget to dot the I's and cross the T's and Molly's transcript ends up somewhere else. MPP, MPH, MBA...anywhere but MPA, where it is supposed to be.

I tell Molly that I don't have her transcript and she responds "Yes I do. Graduate Studies sent me an email saying that they have it and my application is complete." WRONG. What good is the transcript if Grad Studies can't send it to the appropriate department?

Well, I write an email and visit a friend and Grad Studies works quickly on correcting the problem for everyone concerned (there are actually about 15 Molly-like applicants and GS immediately began rectifying the situation). Unfortunately, our hero Molly's transcript can't be found. They don't have a hard copy. It isn't available to them online; I can't get it online either (this is the backup plan, btw). Grad Studies suggests that I go to the Records Office and perhaps they have it.

Hang on, this nail biter isn't finished yet.

I think it is a good use of time if our friends over in the Records Office just print out the imaged, archived version of the transcript online. However, they have ants in their pants and say they can't do anything. They suggest I call student services.

So I call our friends over at student services. Finally, someone with their head on straight says "Of course. I can print that for you. Do you want to come pick it up?" I say sure. They say to get it from Lia, who is supposedly manning the window closest to the interior of the ASB.

I mosey on over to the ASB and lo and behold, Lia is nowhere to be found. In fact, no one has ever heard of Lia, nor my phone call. I ask who I can talk to to get the bloody transcript. They suggest I speak to the records office.

Well, Records is just across the hall and I go talk to two very nice student employees who go searching for me. When they come back empty handed, I ask them if THEY can just print the transcript for me. They ask their supervisor...who says no. I must have a signed privacy document from the applicant allowing me personally to obtain the transcript. WHAT? IS THAT NOT THE POINT OF MY JOB? DO I NOT SPEND COUNTLESS HOURS REVIEWING THESE TRANSCRIPTS AND LETTERS AND ALL SORTS OF PRIVATE INFORMATION? You'd think they could get their ducks in a row and shoot straight.

I think to myself, "Andrew, you have been given permissions and rights to view these documents online. Surely if you use their computers which have the correct software and sign in, you can just print it yourself." So I ask the two young ladies helping me if I can just use their computer. They have to ask the supervisor. She glares at me (Oh, if I were wearing a business suit and had Cecil next to me this would have been no problem). She says "No, he'll have to use a campus computer in the library."

As if a PUBLIC COMPUTER in the library has the right software to view the documents that BYU only allows a handful of people to view.

Well, that really cooked my goose, so I went to an open access lab just to prove my point above. Of course, it didn't work.

I call Student Services back to see if I can get the saint who agreed to help me earlier to give me more information as to who this Lia is. No luck. On top of that, I lose the connection and the OA lab student employee kicks me out for using my phone in the lab. So I ask to use her campus phone. "No, it's just for me and my business." This coming from the girl who was having a casual conversation with who knows who when I first entered.

As a last desperate attempt, I use the most vile of all on campus computers: the kiosks. Of course, no luck. I think those things still run on Windows 98.

I return to my office and call University Imaging. These are the people responsible for scanning Molly's transcript to the online server. A very helpful woman tried to assist me, but it wasn't working. I tried my department secretary, the recruiting advisor, and three different computers in the office. I called the nice Imaging lady and asked if this record even existed. "Oh yes, I'm looking it up right now. There's x and y and z and... (everything I need).

Aren't we all on the same team?

Did we just get off on the wrong foot?

Are you sick of my endless use of clichés? So am I.

I'm also sick of useless university bureaucracy.

Tomorrow, I'm going to call the nice Imaging lady and see if SHE can just print the stupid thing for me. If she doesn't, then we know the world's been turned upside down.

Meanwhile, Molly won't be able to have her application considered neutrally because her packet is INCOMPLETE. Molly shouldn't have to go spend more money and request new transcripts because of bureaucratic incompetence, should she?

Jack Bauer would never stand for this. Here's lookin' at you, kid.

In which Lydia obtains a major victory

Ladies and gentlemen....

I would like to announce...

Wait for it...


...


I just parked on my first try.


BOOYAH!

Oh and by the way, here's the famous learner's permit on the day I got it :)

I heard this on the radio today. (Do note that it was a talk-show, not news, but the writing style applies)
The person was talking about a woman who murdered her two-year old and was a negligent mother, etc. And she said:
"she lied about a Hispanic babysitter having the kid while she went to party"

This is a perfect example of USELESS mention of "race" in the media.
What does the adjective "Hispanic" add here? Nothing.

This is the kind of writing even a lowly beginning journalist like me knows to avoid...

It happened again. The missionary jump-roped at 6:30 am. AGAIN.
So tonight, I went upstairs (with my big strong scary husband ;)) and asked them very nicely,in my humble opinion, to please take it outdoors. The cocky, rich little white boy that answered the door was the offender, and he said he'd "try" to take it outside.
I'm onto you boy...

On another note, I do feel slightly bad for him; his companion looked like he was not the type to want to get up and out in the morning to exercise. But I certainly don't pity him so much in the morning when I'm awakened by
thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-

Something to think about

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

Aristotle.

I must not have a very educated mind then... sometimes I worry that if I think about something too much, or look too much into someone else's viewpoint too closely, I might fall into it. It's ok if they're talking about chocolate vs strawberry flavored ice-cream.
But what about when a person is directly attacking church doctrine to which I hold so dearly?
If I listened too much, could I fall away from my convictions?

John Stuart Mill (among others) said that truth would come out victorious no matter what people say, so we should let every voice be heard in a great market of ideas.

But are there some voices that are too destructive? Do we sometimes have to block out something that could damage our viewpoint, or is that because we secretly fear we're wrong? There are some things I don't think I could ever bear to be false

If you want a good movie....

This is one. Faubourg 36 is a french film (thank you Cassi for introducing me to it!) that is just all around happy and funny. And sweet and sometimes a bit sad... It's a bit all over the place, but I loved it!

I want to kill the missionaries

Well, not all the missionaries. Just the ones above that live in the apartment above us..
OK, maybe not kill them, but teach them a lesson.

WHO in their right mind jump-ropes IN AN APARTMENT that is above another apartment at SIX THIRTY AM every morning?!

I have interrupted it twice (dragging myself out of bed) by knocking on the ceiling with a broom. But if it happens a third time... something bad is going to happen to them elders!

He he... maybe I should call their mission president...

Well no, first I'll go talk to them. I've made a resolution to not be passive-aggressive and deal with issues personally. But if they don't listen then, something bad will happen.

Exquisite

This is one of the most amazing things I've heard in a long time. People from across the world combine under Eric Whitacre's direction... except that they were never in the same room all together. I could say more, but I'll let you listen instead.

Watch here

Mac vs. PC?

We have come to a conclusion at long last. After several months of trying, we just don't think macs are all that awesome...
THERE I said it! I don't think macs have anything over PCs, apart from looking pretty cool. (that, I will admit; our BYU rental mac makes our living room so... hip?)
But here's the thing: Andrew and I aren't really hip people anyway, not in the "I-have-the-latest-gadget and I-can't-believe-Paris-wore-that-to-the-Oscars kind of way at least. (what is "hip" anyway?)
We were both pretty normal/nerdy in school (Andrew said so himself, this is not judgment on my part. Me probably a lot more and in a more pathetic way since I lived under the illusion that I was actually so different I was the cool one. But this is really a post for another day... I could write a book about my pathetic junior high experiences)
Anyway, the cool aspect just doesn't do it for me. Macs are supposedly more "user-friendly"... that is, until something goes wrong (::GASP:: No! nothing ever happens to macs! oh yes...) and you try to fix it--and that is impossible, since everything is so PRETTY and USER-FRIENDLY and HAPPY and SIMPLE that you CAN'T GET TO THE FREAKING PLACE WHERE YOU CAN CHANGE THE BLASTED SETTINGS!!!! (I realize my use of computer terminology is lacking. I know my way around a PC pretty well, but don't ask me to tell you what it's called...)
whew, glad I got that out of my system.
And then there's all the compatibility issues... don't even get me started. Skype doesnt' do video chat on macs (isn't that the whole PURPOSE of skype?) MSN messenger either, so it's back to using my nearly-dead 4-year-old laptop to converse with my family once a week.
Quicken? we have a PC version
Not to mention the fact that the MAC version of EVERYTHING is ALWAYS more expensive.
Oh, and my external hard drive that I bought when I had a PC? yeah, I can't write onto it from a Mac because it doesn't support the format. I need to reformat my hard drive (which I know is a fairly simple process, but I have to find a place to put all the stuff on the hard drive in the process, and ... you get the idea) if I want to take anything off the mac. And I suspect that once I do eventually reformat the HD, iPhoto has been playing sneaky with all my photos and I won't be able to just drag them onto the hard drive. SO user-friendly.
By the way, I STILL haven't figured out how to name a photo in iPhoto... what's up with that???
It's so over-simplified that if I want do anything that doesn't exist in one of the cute little apps that jump up and down for my attention at the bottom, I'm chopped meat.
And then there's that insane function of squeezing the mouse and the screen just goes BANANAS! SCREENS FLYING EVERYWHERE! TOTAL LACK OF ORGANIZATION! you though you put that browser window in the top corner, well TAKE THAT MAC USER! I MESSED THEM ALL UP FOR YOU, AND NOW YOU CAN'T GET BACK TO WHERE YOU WERE CAUSE YOU'RE SWIMMING IN WINDOWS! GAAAAAAAAAAH!
Moral of the story, we've been renting a mac desktop from BYU since this summer, but it is definitely time to trade back. PC, I love you, because you may not be as cute, but you are OH so much more practical and LOGICAL!

As soon as I can get my pictures back, but I think they just might be lost in the deep pit of coolness oblivion forever...

Did I mention Macs STUPID ad campaign after which I named this post? Clever marketing, but TOTAL HOGWASH!



Image borrowed from http://www.karikaturas.lv/

Update: as of last week, we finally have a PC again!

"a Temple is a hospital for sinners NOT a museum for saints"

quoted by someone over at FMH. Thank you for reminding me that I don't have to already be perfect.

Feeling pretty hungry right now

This, my friends, is an avocado. And it is stuffed with tuna mixed with mayonnaise and a hint of ranch dressing; it's that simple. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

How do you like your avocados?